Under 21
With graduation and summer vacation around the corner, parents look to set effective boundaries for teens and drinking
The statistics on teen drinking and driving can fill a parent with dread. Car crashes are the leading cause of death among teenagers and underage drinking is a factor in nearly half of all teen car crashes, according to the American Medical Association.
When teens party at the end of high school, they're even more vulnerable to risky behavior and accidents, say health experts.
"It's when we want to raise a red flag. These are risky moments," says Jim Steinhagen, who works at Hazelden, an organization treating alcohol and drug addictions.
Teens are not only drinking at parties but they treat drinking as a game in which extremes are the goal, Steinhagen says, executive director of the Hazelden Center for Youth and Families in Plymouth, Minn.
Even though you've talked to your teen about alcohol in the past you have to have the talk again before prom, graduation parties and the seemingly endless summer before college.
You need to set rules for these special occasions, just as you do any other time. Your goals should be to let your teenager know your expectations and the consequences if the rules are broken. And, you need to come up with plan B, just in case, the experts say.
Although your teen may be angry, he will pay attention.
"Upsetting parents is the number one reason kids avoid drugs and alcohol," Steinhagen says.
First rule is to know whom your teen will be with and where he's going.
Any teenager can start drinking if the opportunity arises, says Scott T. Walters, Ph.D., assistant professor of health promotion and behavioral sciences, The University of Texas School of Public Health, Dallas.
"Young drinkers don't start to drink because they like the effects. They start to drink because everyone else is drinking," Walters says.
Second, learn about any alcohol policies that might affect your son or daughter.
For example, if your teen is using a limousine service for a prom, ask about the company's policy to prevent underage passengers from drinking. Although schools prohibit alcohol and often screen for bottles or flasks at the door, teens can drink beforehand, Walters says.
He recommends encouraging your teen's school to sponsor events that aren't compatible with drinking.
Third, develop a contingency plan.
You tell your teen you expect her to avoid alcohol, and you're taking away car privileges if she's caught drinking. But then it's 2 am and your daughter is with a drinking crowd.
"The parent should say call me anytime; I don't care; no questions asked," Steinhagen says.
Denying that your teenager might drink can put him in danger, experts say.
"Parents tend to see their children as extensions of themselves. They think that if a child does something, it means the parents have failed. Parents don't want to face that," Steinhagen says.
Young women who drink are putting themselves at even more risk.
"Alcohol hits women harder because their body composition is different. Women will get drunk sooner," Walters says.
"Young men who drink are more likely to get aggressive and pushy. Young women are more likely to get passive and permissive. It creates a situation in which young women are more likely to be taken advantage of sexually or physically or experience other consequences," he says.
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